What should i do after high school?
There’s no doubt about it: graduating high school is a major accomplishment and life event. In North American culture, it’s the defining event that signals the transition from childhood to adulthood. Those final years of high school are filled with experiences, lessons, and hard work, all for the purpose of preparing students for entering the ‘real world’. Although many teens and young adults feel ready and excited to move on, what to do after high school can be a very overwhelming decision.
Why So Many Teens Feel Overwhelmed About the Future
At the age of 18, trying to figure out life beyond grade 12 can hold a lot of weight. In spite of having various decisions until this point, the typical path of education is laid out for students quite clearly. Not to mention, family and friends tend to guide the majority of our decisions until this point in our lives. One of the major tasks in young adulthood is continuing to learn how to take ownership of more of our own choices, as well as learning to navigate all kinds of consequences. Graduation brings an array of decisions: whether it’s pursuing further education at a university or college, trades, apprenticeships, entering the workforce, or taking a gap year. And the impact and consequences hold larger weight. These consequences can include factors such as financial cost, pressure and expectations from family and friends, sense of duty, and level of long-term commitment (such as registering for a four year university program). It makes sense that many teens and young adults today feel paralyzed with anxiety, or just downright overwhelmed when it comes to life after high school. And when we’re under this amount of stress, it can feel impossible to make decisions or even come up with the words to describe our thought process. Although endless choices sounds like it would be desirable, too many options often stresses our nervous system and leads to a state of shut-down. To add more insult to injury, the fact that our society is hyper-focused on successes and appearances can make us feel isolated in this dilemma.
If you’re a teen feeling lost after graduation, please know that you’re not alone. Career confusion and distress are incredibly common. And even if your friends all seem confident and excited about moving forward, it’s likely that they’re also holding some anticipation regarding how their plans will actually unfold.
How Do I figure Out What to Do After Graduation?
When life feels uncertain, the most powerful first step isn’t to create a perfect plan; it’s building self-awareness. Directing our thoughts back to who we are helps to mentally ground and prevent anxious spiralling. Start by examining your core values: work on really determining what actually matters to you beyond grades, pressure, or comparison. For examples of values, take a look at Nir and Far’s The Ultimate Core Values List: Your Guide to Personal Growth .
2. Now that you have a stronger understanding of the guiding values in your life, it’s time to clarify your needs and intentions: Do you want stability, creativity, flexibility, impact, income, adventure? Learning how to communicate your goals and express your needs with parents or mentors builds confidence and reduces family tension during this transition. Needs are a tool for connection, that allows others to understand what we require to move forward in fulfilling and meaningful ways. For a guiding tool to articulate your needs clearly, take a look at requesting a free copy of the Centre for Nonviolent Communication’s Feelings and Needs Inventory .
3. Next, assess your strengths and skills in an honest way. If the plan you make isn’t perfect, do you feel like you have the ability to change course? Are you able to express to others when you need to make a change? Continuing to build our skills in problem-solving, asking for help, and communication are paramount to success in life overall. Practice reaching out to older siblings/friends who have already started on their journey after high school. Learn how to build a network and let others know if you’re open to potential work opportunities, or consider requesting informational interviews. For guidance on starting conversations and what to ask, check out the Benefits of Informational Interviewing resource from the University of Berkeley
Dealing with Anxiety About the Future
Sometimes there is the opportunity to explore an option for a time-limited period. If it is possible, consider doing a ‘6 month trial’ on one particular path. For example, you might try working at a new business for 6 months to gain work experience or develop a particular skill. Set your intention in the beginning to check in with yourself after 6 months. At that point, you can decide to continue or change course. For example, you might register for one semester at school and take a few courses that catch your interest. Remind yourself and those around you that this is a trial run to gain further insight into a potential path. For exposure to more skills and potential avenues of education, Udemy offers short term and low-cost online courses.
Remember… Career Paths Change - That’s ok!
Career exploration for teens and young adults is not about locking into one lifelong path. Accept that it will likely be a process of experimenting, taking action, and adjusting if you realize you’re heading in the wrong direction. Although it can be uncomfortable and daunting, work on holding the mindset that changes are not failures. They are necessary bumps in the road. In fact, most people end up changing their career paths multiple times. And sometimes we need to learn more about what we don’t want, to help inform us of what we do want. Whether you’re considering university, trades, a gap year, or entering the workforce, the real skill for life after high school is adaptability, self-reflection, and the courage to pivot when needed.
Post Secondary Decisions
Looking for More Support?
If you’re feeling lost or want additional support on this journey, please feel free to reach out for a consultation to see if working together might be a good fit.
Still feeling anxious? Check out my free downloadable resource for reducing stress
Anticipate having some hard conversations? Maybe you’re worried about sharing plans with friends or family who might not understand. Find some strategies to improve communication here
Laurel Aasen is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in supporting teens and young adults navigating anxiety and life transitions.