At 7 years of age, kids are able to identify the term "dieting" as a weight loss strategy, and one-quarter of these children will engage in restrictive-eating behaviours (Lowes and Tiggeman, 2003). It’s no secret that our society is preoccupied with the perfect body… especially this time of year. January is often accompanied by influx of diet and exercise-related commercials, targeting New Years resolutioners who want to lose weight or increase muscle definition. January is a great reminder that promoting healthy body images for kids and teens in our society is a difficult, but crucial task.
One myth we tend to come across is that eating disorders and body-image problems are primarily experienced by girls. The truth is, negative body image can develop regardless of gender identity. It’s also an outdated misconception that boys and men desire to be "larger" (e.g. “more ripped or bulked”), with many individuals currently reporting a desire to be thinner (see the study by Common Sense Media here). The bottom line is: Any kind of significant distress based on appearance needs to be noticed and addressed.
As parents, teachers, coaches, and other role models, what can we do to promote healthy body image in kids and teens?
1. Be a positive model. Influential adults are crucial players in demonstrating appropriate self-talk and attitudes towards our bodies.
Hearing and observing a parent (or other model) criticize their own body has two consequences:
- It demonstrates how to be critical of your own appearance.
- It demonstrates that it is OK to be critical (and often, verbally abusive) to ourselves (and therefore, maybe also others).
In some cases, the child/teen may also interpret the adult they’re watching is applying the same level of critique to them.
Refrain from criticizing your body in front of kids/teens! In fact, work fostering the self-compassion you wish for your child… you owe it to them AND yourself! If weight loss is a health-related concern for you or your child, be sure to distinguish that this process is intended for quality of life, as opposed to fulfilling appearance standards and self-worth.
2. Give praise that’s accurate, and reflects qualities of personality (such as being patient, generous, or listening well) instead of appearance. Even young children can detect when a complement is not genuine. But when they know that you have taken the time to notice them and genuinely recognize their efforts, the praise will go straight to heart. Their sense of worth will come from who they are as a person, rather than how they look.
3. Instil a spirit of health beyond just eating and exercise. Focus on building and maintaining positive relationships, taking time to relax and reflect, explore meditation and mindfulness, and attend regular check-ups with your dentists, naturopaths, and doctors etc. Staying on top of our own health increases our sense of confidence.
4. Positive self-talk has a profound influence on how we feel about ourselves. With kids, try practicing positive affirmations in front of the mirror (see a heartwarming example here). Write accurate, genuine praise with erasable markers/sticky notes on the mirror. Throwback to our first note on modelling: Remember to do this on your own mirror, as well as the mirror your kids see most!). Practice interrupting unnecessarily demeaning self-talk with positive statements and immediately shifting your focus onto something else. This is a practice of re-wiring your brain, and can feel robotic or insincere at first. Persist with it, and the harsh thoughts will become less frequent over time.
Laurel Aasen, M.C.P., R.C.C. works with children, teens and adults in North and West Vancouver. She enjoys writing about practical tips for mental wellness, and advocating for accessible mental health services.
As referred to:
Lowes, J. & tiggemann, M. (2003). body dissatisfaction, dieting awareness and the impact of parental influence in young children. The British Psychological Society, 8, 135–147.