Great News:
Anxiety and stress are not going to overtake your life.
Regardless of:
a) what has happened
b) how bad your anxiety or stress level is
c) what’s to come
How? Because you have a body with a nervous system, and the ability to monitor how you are feeling.
The “cruel spell” of anxiety is that we get caught up in our cognitive stories around what’s happened, how awful we are feeling, and how terrible our future is. Revisiting these stories reinforces how anxious and hopeless we feel, which ultimately nourishes a thriving ‘anxiety monster’.
Don’t get me wrong - anxiety is a fabulous energy when it is actually appropriate for the situation. It mobilizes us in the face of imminent danger. But this is 2020, and our brains are at an awkward point in evolution where the fight-or-flight response can’t tell the different between a real or imagined/convoluted threat. Therefore, getting a poor work review activates the same physiological experiences as being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.
So, in this fast-paced society, how do we stop ourselves from feeling constantly activated?
An alternative (and scenic) route is to disengage from our elaborate doom-stories and ask the question: “where is my nervous system right now?”.
Once we recognize we are activated, we can utilize body-based tools to help us get back to a happy-medium, rest-and-digest state.
You: “Ok… first of all, this is not new news. Secondly, even if I figure out how to calm my nerves in the moment, life will continue and my problems will be waiting for me when I’m done. I’ll suck some wind, lie on a yoga mat, “zen-out”, drink tea until my bladder wants to burst, only to go back to the 13-ringed-circus-of-fire-and-chaos that is my life. What good does that do?”.
Certainly, problems in our environment and relationships will continue to persist - life is just that way.
But only using mindfulness and body-based tools when we feel bad is not enough.
It’s not enough.
Really, it’s not enough.
Seriously…
These techniques are frequently promoted as “tools for reducing anxiety-related discomfort”. But in fact they are so much more.
Why? Here’s what happens when we are in a calm state:
We are able to connect with the current moment, in order to identify and take advantage of available opportunities.
We can creatively generate solutions and put them into action.
All areas of the brain are online, so we can make decisions that align with our deeper values.
We are able to deepen our interpersonal attachments, and articulate what we need from others.
We are capable of processing events that have had a profound impact on who we are and how we see the world.
Simply put: when all of the above is happening, life becomes more meaningful and enriched.
What’s required of you is the commitment to explore and practice what actually has an impactful effect on your nervous system. Set time aside each day, just as you would to go to the gym or meet a friend for coffee. Set alarms on your phone to remind you to use these tools every couple of hours. Put up sticky notes or write on your mirror in expo marker to remind you.
The biggest challenge is incorporating these habits, because we have lived so long with misguided ‘protective’ habits that activate unhealthy stress. In many ways, we are comfortable in our anxious state of worrying about the future. So if committing to re-wire your daily habits feels hard, that’s because it is. I’m basically asking you to let go of a rope and free-fall into the current moment.
Furthermore, once you’ve mastered what breath technique, movement, self-massage, smells, and other interventions actually support your unique nervous system (different tools will work better for different people), continue to practice these things even when you’re not stressed or anxious. Remember that they will still benefit you.
Again, life happens every single moment. So why are you only using these tools when you feel poorly?
To contribute to your repertoire of nervous system hacks, the Transforming Anxiety and Stress team have a few tools to sample:
Diaphragm Breath: the movement of the diaphragm outwards happens to stimulate the vagus nerve, which is active in signaling to the brain “I am safe and I can relax”. Gently place your hand on your lower stomach. Relax your jaw, and inhale through your mouth. Direct the air to travel to your lower stomach, so it expands in all directions (Note: do not use your abs force your stomach to expand). Once your lower abdomen is full, you will feel air continue to expand upwards into your chest. Before you are at full-capacity, exhale gently and repeat.
Square Breathing:
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold your breath for 4 seconds
Exhale for 4 seconds
Wait for 4 seconds (before inhaling again)
repeat .
Targeting the olfactory nerve: your olfactory nerve (which is responsible for helping you smell) runs directly over the emotional centers in your brain. One very quick way to shift your nervous system is to connect with a familiar smell associated with a calming memory. Keeping an essential oil with you is an easy way to have access to a calming scent.
Get up and move. Walking and dancing involve movements that cross midlines in our body. When these midlines are crossed, our right and left hemispheres of the brain are required to re-engage and communicate. This leads to clearer thinking, and the opportunity to vent off excess energy.